There are a few characteristics of Harlequin Romance-type novels that I always seem to notice. Some of these are pretty minor or subtle, but because I read so much I see them over and over and they begin to take on a much bigger importance and distract me from the actual story.
First, the sex always seems to be some variation on the she’s-a-virgin-or-has-never-had-good-sex-before theme. For some reason romance novelists can’t or won’t allow their female protagonists to have more than one satisfying sexual partner, because it’s always the guy in the novel that gives her her first orgasm. Meanwhile, the guy is always experienced and ridiculously selfless in bed.
Secondly, there is usually one central conflict that gets brought up again and again, rather than multiple small conflicts. For example, the star-crossed lovers might be from opposite sides of the tracks, or one is involved in a lawsuit, or whatever, but this conflict is mentioned repeatedly, a dozen or more times in the book, with no real new information provided. There’s no development of the conflict, but it gets brought up over and over to tell the reader why they can’t be together – until suddenly it’s resolved and they are. I remember one book in which the conflict was that the guy had been taking care of his sick mother for years, and had always promised himself that when he was free to date again that he would date as many different women as possible. So even when he fell in love, he kept bringing this up (both in his head and to his lover) as a reason why they couldn’t be together. It was one of the stupidest plots I could ever have imagined.
And finally, I know this is really nitpicky, but full names are overused, e.g., “When Melinda Cavarelli and John Logan bumped into each other on the pier, it was love at first sight. Melinda Cavarelli had never met anyone like John Logan before, and John Logan thought Melinda Cavarelli was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.” I just don’t think that’s necessary – it bogs down the writing. Introducing new characters with their full names is fine, but at some point you’ve got to switch to just first names – or even personal pronouns like him and her.
I admit that I don’t read romance novels anymore, so maybe they’ve changed. And I’m sure that there are some that don’t follow the above rules, but that’s how I see romance novels, and that’s why I don’t like them. I like chick lit because it’s funny and light and the women aren’t doomed to have good sex with only one man in their entire lives. 🙂